The Best fight I’ve ever fought was the discovery of just what happened to my Father after his disappearance on August 3rd 1979.
I got a call a couple of days after he had “Gone missing” and it was the first of many really disturbing calls I would receive over the next few years.
There were many useless clues, non viable leads, and false hopes of a positive outcome to his being a “Missing Person”
In fact his vanishing lasted almost three years until he was finally discovered in April of 1982.
Many people, family and friends helped as they could, but in such an unknown and foreign environment there was little anyone could do.
I found myself during that first six months in a world of suspicion, doubt, and fear. A Place were no one would ever, could ever, imagine finding themselves.
Police interviews that turned into interrogations, Newspaper reporters looking for the “Juicy Bits” were not particularly interested in any facts concerning his “Disappearance”. There were so many hoped for, prayed for outcomes, and then ultimately the loss that the finality of Truth reveals. What is, is just that ………
Over the next couple of years there wasn’t a day that went by without my thinking about my Dad. There wasn’t a crowd of people passing by me that I didn’t look in each and every face to see if I had finally found him. Many times I thought I did, he was there ……. wasn’t he? He wasn’t except in my mind’s eye.
The distance between is sometimes as wide as an ocean or as close as a whisper, he was both to me in those days of loss and disillusionment.
It was a road that I walked down alone as only a Son or Daughter can do for a lost Father.
I appreciated the understanding given to me by those in my life at that time, and whether they are still with me or have moved on, I Thank them One and All. But in the final count the process came down to a One on One experience with myself.
I was as lost internally as my Dad was externally, and in some fundamental way finding him was as much the process of finding myself.
Discovering who I was became the path to finding out what had happened to him.
It took a very long time, too long in so many ways.
But even in those darkest hours I never lost my internal direction of what my mission was.
An Honorable Son.
His final lesson, his final gift to me was the knowing of myself.
That mirrored image where a Man is Revealed to Himself.
His death broke my heart and healed my spirit at the same time.